Last night I was watching "Friends" the TV show. Yes I know, it's really not that great, nor funny of a show. I think the reason I even bother to still watch it is for the nostalgia. Anyhow, I was watching "The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS" (S5 E11), and Joey had made the claim that there is no such thing as a selfless good deed, because we all end up feeling better about ourselves in the end.
In biology class, you may have learned about symbiosis, which is defined as "the relationship between two different living creatures that live close together and depend on each other in particular ways, each getting particular benefits from the other" (https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/symbiosis). There are three types of symbiotic relationships, mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism. Mutualism is when both species benefit each other. Commensalism is when one species benefits, and the other is unaffected. While parasitism is when one species benefits, and the other is harmed. These biological interactions between different species, is reflected in different scenarios on this topic. For example, say you want take the day off to rest after a long week, but your coworker desperately needs their shift covered and you end up picking up their shift. While this is beneficial for your co-worker, it could lead you to overworking yourself, which is linked to developing illness. Therefore, you could say this is comparable to a parasitic interaction . In this case, you picking up the shift could be interpreted as a selfless good deed. But is it a good deed if the means are counteractive to you and your well-being?
A compliment you give someone is capable of being a mutualistic interaction, where both parties end up feeling better about themselves. I believe in order to make a good deed selfless, you have to make it a commensalistic interaction in which you are not affected by it. Ultimately, good deeds are measured by the intention and outcome.
What do you think?
Mutualism - I open the door for a little old lady because being nice makes me feel good, and she benefits from an easier entrance. Commensalism - I open the door for a little old lady because I was raised that way but don’t feel better, and she benefits. Parasitic - I open the door for a little old lady because I’m trying to scam her, and use this “good” deed for selfish reasons.
I also think that it comes down to cause and effect. I’m doing this because…. The effect is…. For example, what if I open the door because I think I’m doing something nice, but I offend that person or cause unintended harm, like giving a drug addict billions of dollars?